Today I did something I never imagined I would do.
Most people who know me would agree that I’m an introvert. I’m pretty quiet and generally happy to be in the background–with the exception of teaching, which I love to do in spite of the fact I get anxious every time! I can go out with a group of friends or family and realize as I’m driving home that I hardly said a word.
Being in front of an audience is definitely not my style.
So when Michael Sheridan invited me to come on his radio show, “So You Think You’re Awake,” to talk about using dreams as guidance for life and career, I was…reluctant. (This is my code for “every hair on my body stood up and I started sweating profusely!”) Visions flashed through my mind of sitting in front of the microphone, with untold numbers of people listening in, and not being able to remember my own name.
But I agreed to do it anyway because something inside me, however faint, said “yes.”
I’ve been practicing following the inner “yes” lately. This is not a yes that comes from my head, believe me. To anyone else the decisions I’ve made lately–like leaving my job with health insurance, retirement, and sick days to go into full-time practice doing coaching and healing work–look a little crazy. There’s a part of my own mind that has questioned these decisions, too.
And at the same time, there’s a part of me that is absolutely certain, for reasons it doesn’t explain, that this is the right choice at the right time. This is the part I’ve been heeding, the thread I’ve been following.
As I’ve listened to this voice, something interesting has happened. This part of me has gained confidence. Meanwhile, my doubting mind is putting up less of a fuss. It still throws up weak objections now and again, but I think it knows I’m not paying attention to it anymore.
Which brings me back to my adventure on the radio today.
Going on the radio is not something I ever imagined myself doing–or being willing to do. My grandmother used to say, “I’d no more do that than fly to the moon and back.”
Even though I was terrified–I mean, reluctant–I am so glad I did it. I’m deeply grateful to Michael for having me on the show, not just because it was actually fun and a great way to spread the word about the value of dreams, but because I was able to show myself what I’m capable of. And, to me, that’s a day well spent.