Have you ever had one of those days? When it feels like the whole of creation is intent on annoying you – or worse?
Most of us have those days when we just want to crawl back under the covers because getting up today seems to have been a bad idea. Or when you want to close your office door (if you’re lucky enough to have one) and crawl under your desk, preferably with a glass of wine.
If you’re having one of those days today, know that you aren’t alone. There are other people at this moment feeling singled out to suffer (you haven’t really been, but I know it can feel that way).
First, please know that you are loved and appreciated. Second, if you’d like to change your mood, keep reading.
Out of all of our common responses to these days, only one has the potential to really make it better.
Our typical responses – which might feel better in the moment but don’t really provide relief – include things like:
- Lashing out
- Depressive or pessimistic thinking
There’s another option which actually can help to salvage part of your day: talking to someone who supports you. Someone who can hear how much your day sucks without trying to be a cheerleader, but who also knows that you are resourceful and capable. Someone who knows you’ve been through crap before and lived to tell the tale.
It can be helpful to identify the core issue that kicked off the lousy part of your day. Can you name what’s at the heart of it?
Was there an event that made you angry? That felt unfair?
Was there an event that hurt your feelings?
Was there an event that brought up old beliefs (we all have them) about not being good enough?
See if you can acknowledge the emotions that have come up for you, without needing to change them, exaggerate them, or diminish them.
Remember that you’re not the only one having these feelings and the (albeit extremely annoying) experiences that brought them up.
Be gentle with yourself. How would you behave toward a friend in these same circumstances? See if you can extend that same kindness toward yourself.
Once you understand what really got to you then you can decide what, if anything, you want to do about it. In some situations we take something personally that wasn’t really about us; on other occasions we may see a need to address an issue externally.
Is this something you want to reflect on and change your internal response to?
Is there a conversation you need to have (when the time is right) to reset a boundary, to renegotiate an arrangement that no longer works for you, or simply to let someone know how you feel?
Or maybe there’s some other step you’d like to take?
These are some of the ways you can empower yourself to change the tone of your day. I hope your day starts to improve.
With extra love,